I know up on the top you are seeing great sights,

Sharp Objects: A Novel

Gillian Flynn

Initially I didn't think this book would catch.  The cover enticed me, but upon reading the first couple of pages I didn't feel engrossed in the novel.  I relegated it to bathroom reading.  I have a tendency to read two books at a time.  One book carry with me, another book for precious time in the water closet.  This changed after about 40 pages.  The mystery surrounding the quaint Missouri town of Wind Gap enthralled me.  The protagonist is both affable and repugnant.  How can that be?  I liked her, felt sorry for her, hated her, and worried about her.  The book discusses small town fear, pain, and gossip in a very witty fashion.  Then again I may be quiet biased in my city girl opinion. 

Sunday has been spent finishing up this book while battling my own anxiousness.  Mike is finishing up my dad's computer and we have tickets to see flight of the conchords tonight.  The deadline to return my dad's computer to him and meeting up with friends worried me the whole day.  I don't know why I do that to myself.  It should have been a pleasant Sunday.  I had friends come over earlier in the afternoon.  We spent the day watching D.A.R.Y.L, hanging out, and laughing.  I always seem to let other worries plague me. 

There are other things on my mind, work, bills, etc and I know it's starting to get the best of me.  This should be a "fun" summmer.  I need to get into "fun" summer mode.  Anxiety combined with post grad depression may be taking over.  I know what I need to do, but I'm stuck in that rut where I don't know if I can get to that place. 

I'll just tell myself to breathe.

just breathe

The Man of My Dreams

Curtis Sittenfeld

this is a great book.  i love curtis sittenfeld's writing style.  i will  try to put into words why she's a great writer, but i know i can't do her any justice.  in man of my dreams we see how hannah evolved from a self-conscious teenager to self-assured woman.  I was really worried that this would book be stereotypical.  With a title of "the man of my dreams" i expected it to be a romance story with a happy ending.  It may not be a romance story, or traditional chick-lit, there's a story with untraditional versions of romance and untraditional versions of a happy ending.  I don't like the fact that I have to say "untraditional" happy ending.  I like sittenfeld's take on what the "man of my dreams" ends up becoming. 

I picked it up at barnes and noble in the bargain book section.  So if anyone else wants a crack at it, pick it up!

At the beginning of the year one of my professors asked us to write down three things we would do this year that would strike balance in our lives.  My three things were:

1. see my friends more often
2. read for fun
3. see my family more than every 6 months

I'm proud to say that I actually stuck to those three things.  During my first year of grad school I suffered so many nervous breakdowns that I was so emotional broken.  Before the year started I made a promise to myself that I would not let that happen again.  When my professor asked us to write those things down it confirmed my promise. 

I also took different steps towards a more positive mental health.  The biggest step for me was therapy.  My Ate Leah had suggested I go see a counselor during my first month of grad school.  I had a panic attack and I emailed/called her.  I didn't think I could handle grad school and I didn't know to turn to.  In my family only three of us cousins have gone on to grad/professional school.  My Ate Leah got her master's in clinical psychology and my cousin Bryan is a MD.  Since Ate Leah was a psychologist I figured I'd turn to her.  After talking to her I told her I would see a counselor, but I put it off.  I put it off for a whole year.  At the beginning of this year of grad school, I made an appointment and I went to therapy during my first semester.  I know that I didn't go because I didn't want to admit I needed it.  Stupid Asian American stigma of mental health resources.  It irritates me that I became an Asian American mental health statistic.  I know all the literature, but still...these values are so ingrained in me that I didn't seek help.  Thank god I did.  I'm happier for it.

I did see my family and friends more.  Initially I thought grad school equalled dropping off the face of the earth.  That tactic didn't serve me well, so I made more of an effort to hang out with friends.  This was hard since some friends got the impression that I was so busy, that they didn't bother calling me.  So instead I called/emailed/im'd them to hang out.  It was like I had to reintroduce myself to them.  Like Yes!  I want/can hang out.  I also saw my parents more.  I only live 20 minutes away, but last year it was like 2000 miles.  At my graduation party my cousins came out and hung out with me.  That meant a lot.  We don't get to hang out as much as we used to.  I know that's the effect time has on folks.  When we were kids some of us lived in the same house or were babysat all together.  It still feels strange to me that we were so close as kids and yet now we're so far. 

Reading for fun played a role in my life this year.  I have always loved to read.  When I worked at Borders it was like heaven.  The whole bookstore was my library.  Last year I didn't read for fun and that killed me.  This year I've read numerous books for fun and I swear it saved me.  Since May started I knew it was my last month as a student.  So a week before graduation I started to devour books.  I'm definitely going through a reading kick.  Although I did read for fun more this year.

I love Charlaine Harris.  Her Sookie Stackhouse series is addicting.  I say it's an adult version of Stephanie Meyer's Twilight series.  So it's vampires and regular people drama...with sex.  lol.  I read this whole series, all 8 books, in 9 days.  Yes a book a day.  I couldn't put them down!  It's so fun. 

I Was Told There'd Be Cake

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley's comp of essays is a fun read.  I imagine this would be the book Carrie Bradshaw would write, if I liked Sex and the City.  I know take away my vageene card.  I'm not a fan of Sex and the City.  But I am a fan of good writing and Crosley's definitely an amazing writer.  What I like about her is she writes honestly about awkward situations which translates into warm and poignant stories.









So I'm now in the process of reading two books.  After reading all those vampire books I need a break from the fantasy/sci-fi drama.  So I'm currently reading two similar themed books.

The Man of My Dreams

Curtis Sittenfeld

I loved Curtis Sittenfeld's first novel, Prep.  So I picked up "the man of my dreams."  And I got it on the cheap since I skimmed the bargain books section and picked up this hardcover for 6bux!  Hannah, the lead character, is a socially awkward teen who's own thoughts inhibit being a "normal" girl.  She daydreams about dating and hanging out with friends, but she doesn't think that will ever happen.  Then when it does, she's shocked that people would take the time to talk to her.  It's like Sloane Crosley's essays in novel form.  I'm halfway through this book.

I Want Candy

Kim Wong Keltner

I picked up this book at Target.  I always keep an eye out for new Asian American writers and support when I can.  It's a Chinese American Lolita-esque story.  Candace Ong lives in San Francisco's Chinatown and works at Eggroll Wonderland, where she's been frying eggrolls since she was three.  It's an honest account that tackles the challenges of being a teen, trying to fit in, and exploring sexuality through an Asian American lens that isn't skewed to be hypersexualized.  I'm really digging this book.  While I love Sittenfeld and Crosley's style's, I'd like to hear this perspective from my own Asian American sisters.  So reading Kim Wong Keltner's first novel is inspiring.




I have two more books waiting to be read.  Stephanie Meyer's first attempt at adult fiction, "The Host" and Gillian Flynn's "Sharp Objects."  I started to read "The Host" but like I said I needed a fantasy/sci-fi break.  After immersing myself into one reality, I couldn't properly immerse myself into a new sci-fi reality.  I also want to save that for closer to July, so I'll be into the groove of Meyer's reading style before "Breaking Dawn" the last of the Twilight comes out.  "Sharp Objects" looked interesting so I just randomly picked it up.  I was on a first novel kick when I picked up "I Want Candy" and "Sharp Objects."
 

And lastly I've been writing.  At the beginning of the year I joined a writing group.  A mutual friend mentioned he was starting this project where folks write in a specific style, everyday, for three months.  Knowing my own laziness, I didn't think I could do it.  But I really liked the idea.  Eventually, after lots of wrangling, I started to write.  It's been extremely cathartic.  I started writing when I started therapy.  I was able to write and create something out of my issues.  It was such a release.  So if you'd like to check it out head to The Undeniables and click on elaine and you'll see my stuff.  We're in our 3rd session.  It's pretty crazy how many people have gotten on board.  And we're not done yet.  So if you want to take a crack at it you are more than welcome.  All you need is be committed to the craft of writing.  It's been an amazing experience.  And through it I've found a voice that I've always wanted to use, but just didn't know how.

how the hell did dale get sent home.

i don't like this lisa chick.  it irks me that she does asian fusion food.  boo on her.

sure dale was an ass, but he i liked that about him.  he fought for his shit. 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO